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mandatoryupgrades:

Anyone who thinks Shakespeare is boring apparently missed the greatest stage direction ever written:

I want that to be the final line of my biography.

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the-laughing-cactus:

the man at Starbucks asked what my name was and i told him it was carpet

the-laughing-cactus:

the man atĀ StarbucksĀ asked what my name was and i told him it was carpet